Spring Turkey 
by Brent Bacon
sniper@sunlink.net

And the early morning sky begins to glow. 
There's a booming gobble in the valley below. 
My heart starts pounding; adrenaline flow. 
I ready myself for nature's show.
I notice the woods, mostly gray and brown, 
As I find a tree and settle down, 
Sprigs of green are all around 
And soon lush plants will be abound.
Lest I forget why I am here, 
The silence is broken by a gobble near. 
He's coming fast, too fast I fear. 
My call was too good, too crisp, too clear.
I put on my gloves and pull down my headnet. 
I look around, but I don't see him yet. 
I think to myself, this is as good as it can get, 
On this turkey's life I am willing to bet.
He came in on a run, I thought he'd gobbled his last. 
I sat in awe as he ran right past. 
In retrospect it happened too fast. 
Again that turkey kicked my butt!

  MORNIN' 
By Brent Bacon  
sniper@sunlink.net

A hunter sits in the cold and the dark 
Silent and listening. His back to the bark. 
He''s climbed this tree many times before, 
Following the trail of a big buck''s lore.
Fleeting glimpses, rarely seen, 
More mystical than anything. 
Birds are chirping. Its still dark. 
In the distance a dog will bark.
The horizon glows in the eastern sky. 
Trees take shape. An owl glides by. 
The drone of a truck on a far away hill. 
This makes the hunt; It''s not the kill!

More Poems by Royce Koon

I NEED AA...ANOTHER BEER

                                      Sometimes in celebration
                               I drink until I stutter
                               and lacking moderation
                               wind up in a g-g-g-gutter!         

                 
                                 PIGEON HOLED

                                 Pigeon hit window!
                                 Pigeon had wreck!
                                 Pigeon has window-
                                 pane in his neck!

 
        KHAZADDUM210@aol.com

These are things people actually said in court,
word for word, taken down
and now published by court reporters.

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.

Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.

Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
A: After the accident?
Q: Before the accident.
A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.

Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
A: Yes.
Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: What did she say?
A: What disco am I at?

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep,
he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August eighth?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice
which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work

.Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.