WOUNDED TREE

                  White man catch
                   Chief Fat Moose!
                  Take strong rope,
                   make big noose!
                  Hang from tree,
                   limb break loose!
                  Now White man
                   say make truce!?

                            U COUNTRY WOMEN U

                            What country women do!
                            If city girls just knew.
                            Chase doggies until 2:00
                            then corral kids "YAHOO!"
                          
                            They fight the outlaw flu.
                            They cook the posse's stew.
                            They brew the family brew
                            from tea (and I ain't through).

                            They get woke before you
                            to griddle and ginsu
                            a hunk of meat they slew
                            or caught from a canoe!
                           
                            What country women do!
                            If city girls just knew,
                            they'de not believe it true
                            or if they did, yell "EWWW!"

HIDDEN MESSAGE

                           Record a poem of free verse,
                           then play it back in reverse.
                           Does it rhyme or say a curse?
                           NO!  it just sucks even worse!

WHY FREE VERSE IS FREE

        Poems have either
                rhythm or rhyme.
           Poets with neither
               ain't worth a dime!

      Poems by Royce Koon 
        KHAZADDUM210@aol.com

SIGNS OF SPRING
by Hilma (Volcano) Volk

The buttercups are pushing up
Through the patches of melting snow.
The willows are tinged in yellow.
Streams are swollen with the flow.

Least three calves were born this morn.
Dozens more about to pop.
The cows got through the winter well.
It'll be a good calf crop.

The ducks are dabblin' in the pond.
The swallows are back again.
I'm walkin' to the ranch house
In the cold and pourin' rain.

For the surest sign of spring of all
Is not the leaves in bud.
But two miles back, its my 4x4
Buried up to it's axles in mud.

HUSBANDS VS. HORSES

GOOD THINGS ABOUT HUSBANDS

1. Husbands are less expensive to shoe than horses.

2. Feeding a husband doesn't require anything that even mildly compares with the hassle of putting up hay

3. A lame husband can still work

4. A husband with a bellyache doesn't have to be walked

5. Husbands don't try to scratch their heads on your back

6. They are better able to understand puns

7. If they are playing hard to catch, you **may** be able to run them down on foot

8. They know their name

9. They usually pay their own bills

10. They apologize when they step on your toes

11. No saddle fitting problems

12. They seldom refuse to get into the vehicle

13. They don't panic - running and yelling all through the house when you leave them alone (unless you've left the kids with them too!)

14. For a nominal fee, you can hire someone else to clip them

15. They don't like the lady next door just as well as you, just because she fed him for 3 days straight

THE HORSES ADVANTAGE

1. If they don't work out you can sell them

2. They don't come complete with in-laws

3. You don't have to worry about your children looking like them

4. You never have to iron their saddle pads

5. If you get too fat for one, you can shop for a bigger one

6. They smell good when they sweat

7. You can repair their "clothes" with duct tape

8. It's possible to keep them from jumping the fence

9. You can force them to stay in good physical condition with a whip if necessary

10. They don't want their turn at the computer

11. They may turn white with age, but never go bald

12. They have never heard of PMS

13. They learn to accept restraint

14. They don't care what you look like as long as you have a carrot or an apple

Submitted by Michael Peters blacksmith1@954access.net
Found at
http://www.albertaequine.com/HitchingPost/manvshorse.htm

      Why there was no May 15 "Country-Fried Bull"......

(Seriously)

The fact is I was just so involved and excited in the new program I'd started that I figured the "Bull" would just have to wait.

As I mentioned in an earlier issue I'm a massage therapist in real life. I was starting a web site to offer health advise. But there was so much information to cover, so much work for so little return that I thought no, it is not worth the effort.

As a massage therapist working at a big resort, I'm always working weekends and feel the frustration of being on a short leash (if you can relate).

Well those of you who know me know how much I love performing my poetry and I've been looking for a way to free myself from the J-O-B. Sometimes you exit one web page and there is another web page that tagged along with it (how annoying). This tag along page was a form to fill out for interest in a home based business (Yup, another one of those home based businesses!!!!). This is what I saw:
http://www.mypc2work.com/default.asp?id=10581

Well on a quirk I filled it out and a few days later was invited to view the most amazing presentation I have ever seen in my life. You can see it at
http://www.compensate.net/index.asp?masterid=globerider

Then I found out it was for Herbalife. Good grief. You always see these fliers for Herbalife. But the more I looked into the products and the company, the more I liked what I saw. But I told the contact person that I didn't want to bug friends and relatives, no way. He said no, no; their Internet Marketing Group works through leads on the internet -- like how they found me. I ordered a distributor kit.

So I'm supposed to take these products so I can understand them and see for myself. I'm thinking they won't do anything for me because I don't need to loose weight, I eat a pretty healthy diet, I'm active and I'm already taking gobs of vitamins other supplements. Plus I'm replacing two complete meals with this stuff and thinking I'm going to starve. It took a few days to adjust and I realized, wow, I do have more energy, a lot more. And I'm not hungry because when the body gets all the protein and vitamins and minerals and other nutrients it needs, it doesn't crave more.

If you know of anyone who wants to loose weight and keep it off using nutrition (96.2% on the program loose weight and keep it off), have them visit this web site: http://diet4u.net/default.asp?id=10581

Thanks for reading.
Hilma