Country-Fried Bull

April 15, 2001
Happy Easter

Welcome to the fifth bite-size edition of Country-Fried Bull delivered to your email. You can also view issues on the web at www.globe-rider.com/bull.html

Each issue features a poem or story or article or two, plus a joke. Poems and stories are published with the consent of the author and may not be reproduced without their permission. Jokes, however, fly around the internet at the speed of light and it is usually not possible to know the originator, but submitters will be acknowledged.
Enjoy,
Hilma Volcano Volk

Poems by Royce Koon

WRITTEN IN SOPRANO

                                       I pulled for a mile,
                                       (felt like I'd burst).
                                       I pled like a child.
                                       I swore and I cursed!

                                       Twas then when my duel
                                       went bad for this fool,
                                       I broke the first rule -
                                       DON'T PUSH ON A MULE!


                    Average 

                 I'm 1/5 genius
                  ain't it cool!
                  My problem is
                  I'm 2/10 fool...


       DEAD GUYS WEAR BLACK

                         Your first
                         Karate lesson;
                         Don't mess with
                         Smith and Wesson.

Royce Koon
KHAZADDUM210@aol.com

Here Comes the Easter Cow
By Gary Lundblad
(copyright 1997)


Get MOOOOvin' Get MOOOOvin'
Here comes the Easter COW
Get MOOOOvin' Get MOOOOvin'
Here comes the Easter COW
She's bringin' all her Candy
Made from all the MOOOOilk she gave
Get MOOOOvin' Get MOOOOvin'
Here comes the Easter COW

In the MOOOOrnin' and the Evenin'
She gives MOOOOilk with such delight
She gives MOOOOre MOOOOilk then all the UDDER COWS
'Cause she tries with all her MOOOOight

So, Get MOOOOvin' Get MOOOOvin'
Here comes the Easter COW
Get MOOOOvin' Get MOOOOvin'
Here comes the Easter COW
She's bringin' all her Candy
Made from all the MOOOOilk she gave
So, Get MOOOOvin' Get MOOOOvin'
Here comes the Easter COW

So, Get MOOOovin' Get MOOOOvin'
Here comes the Easter COW

By Gary Lundblad or Old Buckaroo
GLundb7202@aol.com


From: Dan's Civil War Page
By Daniel Giallombardo 
	The saddle creaks as he shrugs
	up his collar against the morning chill.
	Late night watch ending,he sees the
	cattle slowly wake to the silent thunder of
	the dawn,and begin to graze.
	And on the ridge,the bone-bare wolf
	hungrily eyes the herd,as the cowboy slowly
	draws bead with his Remmington.
	Then exhaling slowly,he rides down
	the hill.
	

ParrotheadDan@avenew.com http://www.theonlinedispatch.com


Here are some people who should not be allowed to venture into society:

Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills.

A man in Johannesberg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other's head.

A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the job. According to Industrial Machinery News, the film's depiction of gory industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five workers suffered minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening room. Thirteen others fainted, and one man required seven stitches after he cut his head falling off a chair while watching the film.

The Chico, California, City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits.

A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in St. Louis, but by the time police arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians had boarded the bus and had begun to complain of whiplash injuries and back pain.

Swedish business consultant, Ulf Af Trolle, labored 13 years on a book about Swedish economic solutions. He took the 250-page manuscript to be copied, only to have it reduced to 50,000 strips of paper in seconds when a worker confused the copier with the shredder.

A convict broke out of jail inWashington D.C., then a few days later accompanied his girlfriend to her trial for robbery. At lunch, he went out for a sandwich. She needed to see him, and thus had him paged over the courthouse intercom. Police officers recognized his name and arrested him as he returned to the courthouse in a car he had stolen over the lunch hour.

Police in radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "he's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

When two service station attendants in Ionia, Michigan, refused to hand over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call the police. They still refused, so the robber called the police and was arrested.

A Los Angeles man who later said he was "tired of walking," stole a steamroller and led police on a 5 mph chase until an officer stepped aboard and brought the vehicle to a stop.

  "Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit."
John S. Nichols


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