Welcome to the new bite-size edition of Country-Fried Bull delivered to your email. You can also view issues on the web at www.globe-rider.com/bull.html

Each issue features a poem or story or article or two, plus a joke. Poems and stories are published with the consent of the author and may not be reproduced without their permission. (Jokes, however fly around the internet at the speed of light and it is usually not possible to know the originator, but submitters will be acknowledged.
Enjoy,
Hilma Volcano Volk

Especially For Valentine's Day

A Soft Spot in a Heart of Stone
by David McClure

God looked down upon the cowboy
He said, You called my name?
The cowboy answered, yes Lord
As he hung his head in shame

What troubles you my son,
Already knowing his reply
Well Lord, I'm not satisfied,
And I'd sure like to know why

You have given me this horse to ride
To be a partner in my endeavors
He does anything I ask him to
He'd take me from here to forever

You've given me the dog
And of all the animals, there's none more loyal
He's a great help herding in the brush
And he saves me a lot of toil

You have given me these wide open spaces
And all the animal therein to keep
I' m a little partial to those cows
Even though I know you prefer sheep

You have given me the snow capped mountains,
The rivers and the lakes
The painted desert with all it's beauty
I want to talk later about those snakes

But when I gaze upon the midnight sky
And see all those stars you've made glisten
Even with all you have given me Lord,
Deep down there's something missin'

Your creation speaks of  Your greatness
And you've made it all for me
And that I feel that I need something more
Makes me feel so unworthy

God answered, I have been waiting for you to notice,
To sense that you were alone
It has to do with the way I made you
I put a soft spot in your heart of stone

I have made you rugged and strong
To handle most anything
>From the blizzards in th winter
To flooding rivers in the spring

You can stand the summers' heat
And bring in the Autumns' harvest
Of perseverance and independence
You can stand most any test

But in making you this tough
Your heart came out a little harder than I had planned
So I put a soft spot in it ,
So that you would need a woman

I know you've seen all the animals
How I made them in pairs of two
I didn't forget and just left you alone
I wasn't done with you

The cowboy asked God another question
Why didn't you give her to me first ?
Why all those nights wondering why
I couldn't satisfy this thirst?

You had to find this out for yourself, said God
That you needed your other half
If I'd told you that you needed her first
I think you would have laughed

You would have claimed the horse a better partner
The dog, a better friend
It would have took you a lot longer to see
She was what you needed in the end

So now I'll finish what I started
It will require one of your rib bones
I'll use the one that is closest to
The soft spot in your hear of stone

She won't be as rough as you
She'll be soft, gentle and kind
She'll balance you out perfectly
Just as I designed

She'll be the most beautiful thing
That you have ever seen,
She'll fill that void inside you
She is the reason you have dreams

And God did exactly as He promised
And the cowgirl was quite a sight
The cowboy gave out the first  Yeeee Haaaw
And danced about with delight

They both saddled up and rode across
The prarie like the wind
But before they rode out of sight
The cowboy came back to God again

He said , Father you have given me everything
Even that for which I'd yearned
And it just occurred to me
What can I give You in return?

God smiled and said, "love the women as I love you ,
Always in the saddle ride tall
And this one commandment I want you to keep
I want grand kids by next fall

Written by David McClure for Dave and Leslie Konz married September 9,
2000
email Dave

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen.

He goes back into the bar, handily flips his gun into the air, catches it above his head without even looking and fires a shot into the ceiling. "WHICH ONE OF YOU SIDEWINDERS STOLE MY HOSS?" he yelled with surprising forcefulness. No one answered.

"ALRIGHT, I'M GONNA HAVE ANOTHA BEER, AND IF MY HOSS AIN'T BACK OUTSIDE BY THE TIME I FINNISH, I'M GONNA DO WHAT I DUN IN TEXAS! AND I DON'T LIKE TO HAVE TO DO WHAT I DUN IN TEXAS!"

Some of the locals shifted restlessly. He had another beer, walked outside, and his horse is back! He saddles-up and starts to ride out of town. "Say partner, before you go... what happened in Texas?"The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home."

"Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God." - by unknown