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| A lot of people wear bells when they go out in bear
country. The theory is that the bears will hear the bells
and won't be surprised. Bears don't like surprises. So if
you happen to know a grizzly bear and he's got a birthday
coming up, don't throw him a surprise party ...He'll eat
you up. I was out with an old timer and we were looking at some bear scat. Now wildlife does it, it's called scat. If farm animals do it, it's called manure. I'm sure you can think of lots of other names. The old timer said, "That's black bear scat." I asked him how he knew it wasn't grizzly bear scat. He told me, "Grizzly bear scat has bear bells." As they say, SCAT HAPPENS! |
OLD GRIZ
by Hilma Volcano Volk
Old Griz was sleeping under a pine, Dreaming of Mrs. Griz (so fine), When a faint little noise brought him awake. He sniffed the air, did a double take, As he listened to 'tingle, tangle, tine'. And he thought, 'COOKIES!'.
Three helpless looking backpackers trod Up the trail with bells upon their bod. Mother Griz had warned 'bout such as these: "Sure you could crush each one with ease. But they can kill with fire from a rod." But he thought, 'COOKIES!'.
"People don't taste good, you'd spit them out. Then all their friends would hunt about Until they found the likes of you And turn you into grizzly stew. They're only trouble, do not doubt." But he thought, 'COOKIES!'.
He followed them slowly up the path Then grinned and thought 'I'll show my wrath'. On hind legs gave a fearsome growl, Delighting to hear the hiker's yowl. The terrified three heard a grizzly laugh As he thought, 'COOKIES!'.
One fellow threw down his pack and fled. The others froze - one pale, one red - Then watched the mighty beast attack With razor claws that shred the pack. The bear distracted, away they sped, As he thought, 'COOKIES!'.
He woofed down bags of instant rice And freeze-dried veggies, "That was nice". Sank sharp fangs in a can of beer - Foam grinnin' bear sittin' on his rear Munching bread and dried apples by the slice. "What's this? NO COOKIES!"
Standing up he looked around to see Three young men huddled in a tree. Their gear they'd hoisted on a limb. The bear grinned, 'I'll fix 'em.' Then he started to shake the tree with glee, As he thought, 'COOKIES!'.
The second backpack hit the ground. He scattered the contents all around, Inhaled bagels, then some cheese. Quoth the bear, "What morsels these." Then M&M's, then coffee (ground)! He growled, "NO COOKIES!"
Eight hundred pounds of angry bear Beat his chest and clawed the air, Leaped and almost grabbed a boot. Down came another bag of loot From the frightened threesome in despair. "There best be COOKIES."
He dragged the prize to a grassy rise. A brand new 'Lowe' met its demise. Down feathers were flying everywhere With polypropylene underwear. Then he passed up nuts and Lunch-Box-Pies When he found COOKIES.
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