Country-Fried BULL

These folks live down and around the hill from me. Close enough to wave, but too far to hollar back and forth unless the wind is just right. Nice people. Rebecca talks up a storm and Dickie Lee is the quiet type. Or so I thought.

He came home from work the same time as usual, I saw him out feeding the horses. Around sever o'clock I noticed smoke from the barbeque and a short time later about a half-dozrn vehicles pulled into his yard spilling out a fair -sized group of people. They were all laughing iand calling to each other. Did I mention the wind was just right? Someone put Lefty Frizell on the stereo, "If You've Got The Money Honey, I've Got The Time" riding on the air loud and clear. Two guys lifted a tub out of the back of an old red GMC pick-up and carried it over to the patio. One of the girls, wearing the shortest shorts I've seen in some time, grabbed a garden hose and to started to fill the tub with water.

Before long, Dickie Lee came out of the house carrying a tray of hamburgers for the barbeque. When the smoke cleared, I could see they were eating and pulling long-necked brown bottles out of the tub. I finished watering my flowers and moved back to the house, not wanting to appear nosey.

About an hour later my windows rattled as his stereo blasted out "Hey Good Lookin', Whatcha Got Cookin'?" and I heard glass break.. I decided to take the binoculars and amble out to the front porch for some evening bird watching.

While I was trying to focus in on a red-headed woodpecker perched on Dickie Lee's roof, I noticed their two cats up on the clothline pole, backs arched, tails up. A big yellow dog was down below baying and jumping high enough that his nose bumped tthe cross bar, making the lines quiver.

Two fellas were out in the riding arena attempting some bareback rodeo maneuvers on Rebecca's purebred regestered Arabians. Good thing she couldn't see this, she's mighty touchy about those horses. Several girls sat on the top rail cheering them on.

Dickie Lee and a chubby little guy with his shirt tail hanging out were throwing empty beer bottles at the horseshoe peg, scoring with alarming accuracy considering what I assumed their condition to be.at this point..

Just as the last light of the evening started to fade, the girl in the short shorts ran out of the house, Dickie Lee and the yellow dog following hot on her trail. They were headed in the general direction of the tub when the dog spotted one of the cats streaking toward the barn. Long yellow ears flopping, the dog did a quick reverse in front of Dickie Lee that sent him stumbling head first into the tub, arms wind-milling, legs kicking..

It got read quiet. The music was turned off and the yard light came on. I watched them pull him out on the concrete and put a towel on his head. In a few minutes he was sitting up, talking. This ended the party. Car doors slammed and headlight ribboned down the drive..

A while later, I went out to check on the garden hose and could see Dickie Lee stumbling around the yard with a garbage can, cleaning up the yard while Hank Williams crooned "Your Cheatin' Heart."

This morning, I met Dickie Lee at the mailbox. He looked a trifle green around the edges and had a bandage on his forehead. Said he smacked himself with the pitchfork handle. Said Rebecca would be home Sunday and it sure would be nice to have her back; it was so quiet around the house with her gone.

Contents Page Poems Bare-Backed Riders.... A Happening.... Jokes Stupid Criminals Ice Capers Idiot Essays More Poems Manure Happens Home Page Subscribe or Submit Material